Unwrapped: An Urban Fantasy Adventure (Werewolves vs. Mummies Book 3) Read online

  That didn’t seem like an especially awesome idea given we might have to argue with Set and Nephthys, both of whom were Egyptian freaking deities. Let me tell you, fighting gods was tough. I’d done it before and most of the time, barely scrapped by. To say I was really hoping they’d just let the falcon god go was an understatement of mythic proportions. Still, if they said no, I had to try. You always have to try. There’s no other way to win. At least, that’s what my football coach always told me. Usually right before we lost, but still.

  The scorpion on my chest didn’t hurt or itch, but I couldn’t help scratching at it anyway. The creature felt real, and I could have sworn its beady, lifeless eyes were watching me. I don’t know how I hadn’t noticed it before Khufu pointed it out. You’d think I would have, but then again, I’m probably the least observant werewolf in Ancient Egypt. I was guessing Isis must have cursed me when she broke all my ribs. It seemed a bit extreme if you asked me, but then again, I had tried to tear out her throat with my claws.

  I mean, so what if I’d attacked Isis, one of the most powerful deities in all of Egypt. I’d been consumed with soul crushing rage and sadness because she had torn out my girlfriend’s heart. Still. Isis. And she’d dropped me like a bad habit before tearing out Sekhmet’s heart with her bare hands and shoving it in a voodoo glow jar.

  And here I was going to go argue with her brother and sister? That was my big plan? Argue with two larger than life deities? Maybe Khufu was right. Maybe we needed a better plan. A chill ran down my body as I thought about it.

  While I had worked with both of them to stop Apep, that didn’t mean we had any sort of understanding. After all, they were gods. I was a mortal, Dunewalker or not. If they felt keeping Horus chained up in godly purgatory was a good idea, I wasn’t going to be able to make them stop by force, that was for sure. Still, it wasn’t like I had a choice. I had to ask them to let the deity go. Who knows, maybe they would. Then again, monkeys might also fly out of my butt.

  Chapter 3

  “You should let me in,” I growled, glaring at the jackal-headed guardian standing at the entrance to the prison of the gods. It was a squat building about seven feet tall and twenty feet wide behind a fairly standard gate. It wasn’t really much to look at except for the fact it was made from solid freaking gold.

  The baboon-faced guard to the left snorted. His black nostrils widening as he did so. Then he scratched his chin with one slender fingernail. The jackal just narrowed his scarlet eyes at me and adjusted his grip on his golden spear.

  “You really should let him in,” Khufu said from several feet away. He was hidden behind a large boulder, barely peeking his head over the top to watch our confrontation like a gigantic wuss. “He’s prone to fits of insanity.”

  I narrowed my eyes and tried my best to look intimidating as the left guard grinned, revealing a mouthful of razor sharp teeth. It was sort of eerie because he had a monkey face, and in my experience, monkeys were supposed to be funny and pleasant. His mouthful of daggers was anything but.

  “You do not scare me,” the baboon said, voice so high pitched it made my ears hurt.

  “I should. Did you know one time I ate an entire bag of pop rocks while drinking extra carbonated soda. What have you ever done?” I asked, taking a step forward and poking ape-face in the chest with my index finger. His golden armor was warm enough to burn me if I kept pressing me on it. So I didn’t. Still, it made me wonder if he was wearing something between it and his skin. It didn’t look like he was because it was open in seemingly random places, but he had to be, right? No one in their right mind would wear armor made of burning metal against their flesh. Hell, most people didn’t wear normal armor directly against their skin.

  “I walked the plains of the underworld, my flesh scraped raw and bleeding as I fought off a horde of undead. They came for forty days and forty nights in an ever widening, never ending stream of claws and teeth. My companions fell all around me, their screams shattering the night air. Still, I stood tall. Still, I stood firm. My body and mind in service to the truth, the good, the way.” The jackal guard stepped forward and looked down on me, which was easy since he was a couple feet taller than me. “And you tell me of the time you had a stomach ache?”

  I suddenly felt like a complete idiot. My cheeks flushed as the jackal shoved me. Not hard mind you but enough to move me out of his companion’s face. “You have nothing to say for yourself?” the jackal admonished with a shake of his furry, black as coal head.

  “Not to that, no. It sounds pretty freaking horrible.” I swallowed, trying to regain my composure. I mean, I’d fought Apep face to face, claw to fang, but somehow that seemed less harrowing than fighting an army of undead while they ate my friends.

  “Let’s start this again,” the ape said, looking past me toward Khufu. “Why have you come to the prison of the gods?”

  “We need them to release Horus to stop Isis from going on the warpath,” Khufu said, still cowering behind his boulder.

  Evidently, I was being ignored by the guards which sort of sucked, but then again, with tall, dark, and scary as hell staring at Khufu instead of me, I felt pretty happy to stay out of the conversation.

  “You are aware she has already spoken to her siblings and they told her no, correct?” the ape asked, gesturing toward the sky with the point of his spear.

  “I had sort of assumed that had occurred, yes,” Khufu replied, very slowly moving from behind his boulder. “Otherwise, she probably wouldn’t have torn the still beating heart from Sekhmet’s chest and forced Thes to journey here.”

  The ape glanced at me sideways. “Sekhmet is imprisoned?” he asked, the barest trace of emotion in his voice. He almost seemed empathetic. It was weird because previously he’d sounded as empathetic as a mafia boss after he’d just buried an axe in the skull of a man he loved like a brother. Was it because of Sekhmet? If so, why? What did this guy have to do with my girlfriend? Unless… No, he couldn’t be one of her exes, could he? I sure hoped not because I already didn’t like him. That would just seal the deal.

  “By Isis, yes,” Khufu said, walking up to us. “So if you’ll just let us pass, we can release Horus and save her.”

  “Not going to happen,” the jackal guard said, moving forward and placing his hand on his companion’s shoulder. “Sekhmet isn’t worth going against Set.” It was a little weird because the last part of his statement seemed to be directed more at his compatriot than at us. It kind of pissed me off. It was like when my Alpha back home addressed the entire pack with a comment aimed directly at me.

  “Just tell them we beat you up,” I said, now that I was no longer nose to chest with the jackal guard.

  They both started laughing, the sound of it loud enough to echo across the desolate plains of the desert. Tears streamed from their eyes as they struggled for breath between gasps of amusement.

  “To think you,” the jackal gasped.

  “Could beat us,” the other added, slapping his partner on the back and wiping tears from his eyes with one meaty forearm.

  “Laughable,” the jackal confirmed, snorting like a donkey as he sought to catch his breath.

  “Hey! What do I look like, chopped liver?” I narrowed my eyes as Wepwawet, the wolf inside my brain as he very pointedly shook his head at me. What the hell was he so scared of? We’d fought Apep and Horus. What the hell were these two?

  “Liver is very tasty,” the baboon said and his tongue snaked out to lick his chops as he eyed me hungrily.

  “Indeed. Especially with spices.” The jackal nodded. “I do so enjoy liver and spices. So many vital nutrients.”

  “Are they talking about eating my liver?” I asked, glancing sideways at Khufu who seemed absolutely petrified. He didn’t even glance in my direction when I spoke, and while that should have scared me, all it did was confuse me.

  I mean, who the hell were these guys? I was the freaking Dunewalker, right? Mythical werewolf hero. These were two slack jawed guards. I narrow
ed my eyes and took a step forward, my sandaled feet sinking in the soft butter-colored sand.

  “I feel like we should fight,” I growled, my hands tightening into fists even as Wepwawet furiously shook his head no. “You know, for the sake of my pride. Still, it wouldn’t even be fair because there are only two of you.”

  The ape stiffened while the jackal sighed noticeably.

  “He has a point. There are two of us. That would be unfair.” The way the jackal said the words made worry crawl across the primordial part of my lizard brain although I couldn’t have told you why.

  “Indeed,” the ape replied and reached into the Christmas red sash around his waist to pull out what looked like a solid gold coin. “Want to flip for it?”

  “Nah,” the jackal said, leaning back against the wall. “You can do it, unless you don’t want to?” He raised an eyebrow. Were they seriously going to flip a coin to see who could take me on one on one because they had agreed me fighting both were unfair? I glanced at Khufu for confirmation that I wasn’t insane, but the pharaoh was staring at the two of them wide-eyed with fright. Maybe I should back down now?

  Instead of replying to his comrade, the ape turned his red eyes on me. “Guess it’s my turn,” he said, gesturing at me with his coin. “You going to change or you want to fight handicapped. I mean, it doesn’t matter since I’m going to win either way, but you know, I don’t want you to say I cheated. I really hate that.” He shifted his feet. “People always claim I cheat.”

  “Why would they claim you cheat?” I asked, trying to smile despite the fear swelling in my gut. “Are you a cheater?”

  “No, but you’ll see why soon enough.” The ape let out a sad little sigh. “When this is over, hopefully you are honorable enough to realize I beat you fairly. I don’t exactly have high hopes.”

  “Um, Thes,” Khufu said, reaching out toward me, but I stepped out of his way and called upon my wolf.

  Wepwawet glared at me hard enough to make my inner self wince before rushing forward. My body transformed into its wolfman state as the ape appraised me.

  “You’re short,” he said before reaching out and offering me his hand. “Shake?”

  “I’m over eight feet tall,” I replied, taking his hand, and as I did so, he squeezed and broke every bone my hand.

  “Like I said, short.” He released me. “And you have a weak grip.”

  I didn’t scream because I was a badass who was too shocked to believe that’d just happened. Had he really just broken my hand during a handshake? Seriously? I stared down at my paw as the bones writhed back into place and ignored the agony that brought, instead focusing on the warrior in front of me.

  “You didn’t cry out,” he said, watching my hand studiously. “Are you used to taking damage because you can heal?” He raised one dark eyebrow, but before I could reply, he continued speaking. “I can see why that makes you over confident. You think you’ll just heal until you win. You won’t, but I see how someone like you,” he gestured at me with his free hand, “wins a lot of battles through endurance. That won’t work with me.”

  “Oh?” I asked as my hand snapped back into perfect form, and I dropped back into a fighting stance, my feet sliding out on the sand. I didn’t really have much formal training, what with being a werewolf and all, but I knew how to stand like a badass from watching Bruce Lee movies.

  “I am called Menes.” He dropped his spear. It hit the sand with a thud that made me think it must have weighed several hundred pounds, but that was impossible, right? He’d been carrying it with ease. “You may not have heard of me, but if you somehow survive the next oh, three seconds or so, you will remember me forever.”

  “Menes, eh?” I asked, trying to ignore how he only expected me to last three seconds.

  “It means he who endures,” Menes said, kicking off his sandals and sloughing off his armor, leaving him standing before me bare-chested. His tanned muscles glinted in the sunlight, and I’m not sure how to appropriately describe it. I mean, watching an Iron Man muscle competition when I was little and being amazed at the physical strength of the men. This was like that, all that raw power, but somehow compressed into a sleek frame of a super cut MMA fighter after he had shed every ounce of fat in order to make weight. “No matter what you do to me, I will endure.”

  I swallowed as the hair on the back of my neck stood straight up. This guy had dropped his weapons and armor and unlike me, didn’t have claws. He had normal human hands and feet. He could bite me, I supposed, but he didn’t strike me as the type, though I couldn’t have told you why. Still, he seemed menacing. Like he could hit me and I’d just die. Hell, I could kick him in the toe, and the force of it would reverberate through my foot, up through my leg and rupture my heart. Maybe I should rethink this.

  Menes raised one hand toward me, leaving his other arm dangling by his side, and curled his fingers toward his chest. “Whenever you are ready, Dunewalker. Come and let me show you a thing or two.”

  “Five bucks says he doesn’t even last three seconds,” the other guard called, leaving me to wonder how he knew what bucks were. I almost asked him about it when I realized something horrible. Khufu wasn’t even taking him up on the bet. That was likely bad.

  Well, I’d show them. I could totally last three seconds. Hell, I’d last an eternity because I was going to win.

  I charged.

  Menes hit me square in the jaw and agony unlike I anything I had ever felt filled the entirety of being. I didn’t even see the attack really so I couldn’t tell you how he hit me. My teeth shattered as I was thrown backward across the dunes like a bloody comet. When I finally hit the ground and skidded far enough across the sand to tear nearly all the flesh from my bones, I couldn’t even see the prison of the gods anymore. Not that it mattered because everything around me faded into darkness.

  Chapter 4

  “I’m thinking we need a new plan,” both Khufus said as they stood over me and stared down into my face from a few inches away. “One that doesn’t involve you getting your ass handed to you by two of the most distinguished warriors in all of Egyptian history, just saying.”

  “Why are there two of you?” I asked, reaching up to rub my eyes and was surprised to see my hands sans fur and claws. I’d reverted to my normal human while unconscious, which wasn’t astoundingly positive. Menes had knocked the wolf right out of me.

  “There are not two of me,” Khufu said, grabbing me by the arm and hauling me to my feet with ease thanks to his superhuman mummy strength. “You’re seeing double.” He threw my arm over his shoulder and let me stand there for a moment as I struggled to orient myself. It felt like someone had taken a jackhammer to my brain. And yes, I knew what that felt like. Long story short, don’t go drinking with werewolves who work in construction.

  “I think he hit me really hard,” I said before dropping to my knees and retching onto the sand as dizziness swept over me.

  Both Khufus leapt back out of the way and glared at me. “Menes knocked you over three miles through the air. You’re lucky you’re not dead.”

  “Guess I’m tougher than I look,” I said, resting my head against a reasonably vomit free patch of sand.

  “Think about something before you get all cocky about getting your ass beat, Thes. Menes pulled his punch. He didn’t even hit you. That was just the force of the air generated by his punch hitting you. You’re lucky. I don’t think Narmer would have stopped. Now hold still.” Khufu reached forward and rubbed my shoulders, digging his thumbs into my back. I was about to tell him to stop when my nausea abated and my blurry vision faded.

  When I looked up, there was only one Khufu. Thank god. The world couldn’t handle two of the mummy. I got slowly to my feet and resisted the urge to find a nice hole to crawl inside and die from embarrassment. I’d just been launched over three miles by a guy who had hit the air so hard it had nearly killed me.

  “How could they be so strong?” I asked, brushing the sand on my palms off on my tunic. �
��I don’t want to toot my own horn here, but I’ve actually fought gods before, and they’ve never hit me so hard I flew miles through the air.”

  “They’re tasked with guarding the prison of the gods, you dolt. They have to be stronger than a god to take one down.” Khufu shrugged and began walking away. “I wouldn’t have taken you there at all, but you wouldn’t have listened to me.”

  “So you took me there to get my head caved in by supernatural prison guards? On purpose?” I asked somewhat incredulously. “I thought we were friends.”

  “Oh, we’re friends now?” Khufu tossed me a smirk over his shoulder.

  “I’m not sure,” I replied, fixing him with my best ‘I can’t believe you let me get punched by the Egyptian Superman’ glare.

  “Think about it, Thes. You wouldn’t have listened to me if I’d wanted to avoid going straight there. You’d have whined and bitched until I capitulated. I was just saving time by cutting to the chase.” He sighed heavily. “You might say I’ve been to this particular rodeo before.”

  “I’m not going to admit you have a point,” I said because he really did. That was probably exactly what would have happened. I’d never quite trusted his judgment even though the pharaoh had shown me time and again, he was so many steps ahead of me, he might as well have been on the roof while I was stuck in the basement. “But I’d like to know what your plan is for going forward.”

  “We’re going to find Osiris and ask him very nicely to help us out,” Khufu replied like it was a completely reasonable suggestion. “You can do that, right? Be nice?”

  “I thought Anubis said he had disappeared himself a while ago?” I asked, ignoring his barb as I caught up to him. It was no easy task because even though he was walking, I was still kind of out of it.